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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Had a Rivalry With Another Woman?

Wed, 11/12/2008 - 10:00am by DearSugar
608 Views - 38 comments

Blake Lively dispels the rivalry rumor between her and Leighton Meester in the December issue of W magazine. She blames the media for starting it, but it got me thinking about competitive and contentious relationships between women. It seems like many of us have had a frenemy at one point in our lives, but tell me, have you ever had a full-blown rivalry with someone before?

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38 Comments Add a Comment

  • Jude C's picture
    Jude C
    1

    Where's the "yes, but it's in the past" option? I had a very intense and horrible one all through high school with my best friend.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • said8me's picture
    said8me
    2

    i had one in high school. goth geek vs. cheerleader. i was one day older. we grew up and took karate together. our mothers were good friends and went to bingo. when she became "cool" and i didn't, well, that's when the rivalry began.

    one day we wore the same exact dress, though mine was black paired with fishnets and doc martens and her's was maroon which she wore with *cute* strappy shoes. we'd already hated each other at that point... but that day made us hate the other even more.

    the last time she spoke to me was senior prom. i'd been chosen to be part of the court, while she did not. she pulled me aside to say how happy she was for me and she wished we could put everything behind us... i kindly told her to "screw" with a big grin.

    looked her up the other day actually. she moved to the next town over from me. she better not DARE friend me on facebook. heh.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • bluesteyes's picture
    bluesteyes
    3

    Long time ago and she has turned to be okay with me in the end but it was a long struggle. I had one with a uni's friend, i think she felt so insecure and we met recently and she was..the same. I think she felt all the girls were lusting after her man but sorry he's simply too short for many of us.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • candace87's picture
    candace87
    4

    It's asking if you have ever HAD a rivalry. Wether it still exists or not, so the "yes but it's in the past" option is "yes."

    But on my part, no. Never had a rivalry, that just seems dumb.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • candace87's picture
    candace87
    5

    I just re read that and it sounded a little rude sorry, should have worded that better, but basically I'm wondering : where is the just YES option:P

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Renee3327's picture
    Renee3327
    6

    I think almost every woman has had some kind of rivalry in the past. It might not be to the level of some celebs but high school and college were breeding grounds for rivalries. When you dated someone else ex, when your ex dated someone new, groups of friends changing, work cliques...rivalries develop from all of these situations. I've had more than a few but they've never gotten out of hand, more just like being more competitive than usual.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • said8me's picture
    said8me
    7

    wow, now i feel like a big immature dork for writing up my story. lol.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • skigurl's picture
    skigurl
    8

    don't worry said8me - i've got one too

    my on again off again long term boyfriend dated a girl when we broke up and she and i literally hated each otehr...she hated me because a) he loved me still and b) he cheated on her with me and c) then we got back together, and i hated her because she slept with the man i deemed mine...so anyway, i was sooo mean to her, and she came to my apartment one time to confront me and stuff...so stupid...and he is SO not worth it!

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Jude C's picture
    Jude C
    9

    The "yes" option said "Yes, I'm in one right now actually" so that's what threw me off.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • skigurl's picture
    skigurl
    10

    oh yah, and for the record, i clicked yes, but it's way in the past now too!!

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • LoveSarah's picture
    LoveSarah
    11

    Yeah, in the past. But, I wouldn't be "friends" with some one like that anymore.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Lovely_1's picture
    Lovely_1
    12

    I think every women does! Wheather it be your SISTER or BEST FRIEND you always want to be better don't you???

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • TidalWave's picture
    TidalWave
    13

    I have never been friends but i have had a rival with an ex boyfriend's ex. We didn't do anything nasty to each other but she said some pretty hurtful things to him about me and would try very hard to sabotage our relationship. I never said anything mean about her and faked nice as much as I could when we were at the same functions since, unfortunately, we shared friends.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Mesayme's picture
    Mesayme
    14

    I wouldn't call it a rivalry. More one 'real' woman defending herself against some 'surreal' b*tches who needs to get a 'real life'. (I'm sure you're quite filled in Dear Eye-wink )

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • 356UIK's picture
    356UIK
    15

    Hm. Not that I know of? Puzzled Maybe some have beef with me but I am pretty oblivious and detached. Could not care less Smiling

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Mesayme's picture
    Mesayme
    16

    Thankfully, I've never had an rivalry with any other woman in my life. Not even in high school. The women I currently have a problem with, were never and would never be a friend of mine. We are entirely different types of humans beings.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • momma tikita's picture
    momma tikita
    17

    Yes but it only started happening after I had kids...people pass a lot of judgment and Im still learning that!
    I think the worse one was this one breastfeeding mommy who was part of "La Leche League" completely bashed me for feeding my kids formula.
    I am all for breastfeeding but some women just cant or choose not too. Well she decided to say things like " kids are SMARTER when they drink breastmilk." I responded with "If that was true then why is my son who is 8 months younger than yours on the same level and maybe even doing more things then yours?"
    Im not a mean person at all but when it comes to my children..dont F with me. Eye-wink

    some other time where a girl I knew was in a horrible relationship with her second baby's father and I decided that as a friend I told her the truth when she asked me what I thought about the guy (which was an *sshole). She accused me of being jelous and I laughed...histercially. That just got her real pissed off.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • chatondeneige's picture
    chatondeneige
    18

    There was this one girl in college (she's actually on the sugar sites and uses her face as her avatar! It was quite a surprise to see) who slept with my then-long-term-boyfriend, and that started a rivalry... then my little sister started to date her ex (completely unaware, I think?).... Ugh. It escalated from there. She'd go on my boyfriend's facebook and look at my status, and show up where my little sister and I were. She was a little crazy/obsessed with us, from what I could tell. My little sister is still obsessed with her, but I don't really think much about her except when questions like these come up... or when my little tells me about their latest encounter - I guess this girl who slept with my ex showed up to her Zumba class. :eye roll:

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • gooniette's picture
    gooniette
    19

    I always find out after the fact, but yeah. Mostly it was girls trying to get guys that I was dating. I would be totally nice to them and they would give me the cold shoulder. I'd find out the next day or so why they were so rude...

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • gooniette's picture
    gooniette
    20

    Of course, that probably means that the guy I was dating was leading them on which makes him a jerk, but that's no reason to be mean to me!

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • richkidblues's picture
    richkidblues
    21

    I have never felt like I've been in rivalry with anyone. I think its pretty normal to be in a rivalry with a boyfriends ex or an ex's current girlfriend. I have a friend(if you can call her that) who since the 8th grade has created rivalrys. She's very cocky but she's very insecure. our friendship has been a trainwreck, when she's nice its great but when she's miserable she makes your life a living hell. After all these years I've finally cut it off. SO i guess you can say that she's been in a rivalry with me. Im very laid back and get along with alot of people whereas she has a hard time keeping friends. I think she's jealous of that and creates all these problems between people to give her power. UGH its a nightmare.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Mesayme's picture
    Mesayme
    22

    I'd trade what I'm dealing with for any one of those 'rivalries'. Hell, all of them at once!!! Smiling
    How about the current 'girlfriend' thinking you want a man who's been stalking you for years before he met her. And yet, she tries to play you like you're jealous of her. I've never fought over a man in my life. I strictly won't take a man back if he involves another woman in any way that creates chaos for me. And I've never even met these people IN PERSON! damn internet...

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • iamangiepooh's picture
    iamangiepooh
    23

    I said no, but I remembered after the fact one particular incident with a particular girl. I grew up going to church and was super close to everyone in my youth group, including the boys. They were like my older brothers and everyone would hang out all the time, even after church. Well, there was one girl that had a problem with me for no reason. I didn't have a clue why, but I found out from my friend that the reason why she didn't like me was because I was so close to all the guys. I was pretty upset because I didn't do anything wrong, and didn't understand what I did to deserve that type of treatment. I never confronted her though, but she was mean to me quite a few times.

    A couple years later, she friended me on Facebook and now we're 'friends.' Lol. I'm not one to hold grudges so it doesn't matter to me anymore.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • pink_elephant's picture
    pink_elephant
    24

    yes, but in the past, this girl and I went to high school together and I remember I would always try to be nice to her at first, but then she started spreading lies about me to other people.. I didn't know why at first , until someone else had told me that she had a crush on this guy who sat behind me in science class, who I would help with his homework sometimes. I didn't like him, but she did. Which explains why she would cut eyes at me every time I would speak to him. so immature. now, we're "friends" on facebook. but she's definitely NOT my friend.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • hibiscus96818's picture
    hibiscus96818
    25

    About 3 years ago I stopped talking to 2 of my closest friends because I could not handle their drinking and immature actions. 6 months later the rivalry started. The 2 girls were sending hurtful messages to my e-mail, calling at all hours of the night from a private number, threatening to come to my house and beat up me and my roommate (who they also hated). Things got so bad, I had to call the police and file a harassment report against them and I changed my cell phone number 3 times. After the police got involved the situation settled down, but it was a horrible experience.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • psterling's picture
    psterling
    26

    My high school BFF and I competed for everything it was a really unhealthy relationship. One of my oldest friends and I used to steal each other's boyfriends all the time but we both have found men we're happy with, and our friendship it still strong.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • bluebellknoll's picture
    bluebellknoll
    27

    Yes, back in grade school and high school. We were both athletes and she was one grade up from me...so I would always try to beat her school records. hehehehe We were never friends and she was mean to me so I focused my energy on making her #2 instead of #1. Fun times! hahahaha

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    29

    Yes, back in junior high school. The operative expression is "back in junior high school." I've outgrown that mentality (thank goodness).

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Meike's picture
    Meike
    30

    Nope, I never had that sort of friend. I am competetive though in the workplace and martial arts in a professional manner, however.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • flickster's picture
    flickster
    31

    mesayme! you poor person! I've heard of internet crazy stalkers but woooooooooooooooow. you have my condolences.

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Muirnea's picture
    Muirnea
    32

    OMG!!! TidalWave, same thing happened to me. Uggg...bad memories. :/

    Yeah, my ex's crazy ex was totally jealous of me and wanted my then bf back, or at least acted like it. She was very mean, talked about me behind my back and was pretty much just a total biotch. I'm SO glad I'm rid of both of them. They can have each other back, they deserve each other. >:-0

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Mesayme's picture
    Mesayme
    33

    flickster... thank you.
    It's a damn Katrina-sized disaster I tell you, I had NOTHING to do with. He follows me EVERYWHERE, here too!

    He decided we were a couple. It took me a couple years to figure out who my 'boyfriend' was... and she thinks I want him. Huh? Puzzled Unfortunately she thinks I don't like her because of him. Honestly, I wouldn't like her regardless after the stuff she's done out of 'retaliation'... from what...she's fighting her damn shadow. I've been running away from that FOOL!

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • architectdarling's picture
    architectdarling
    34

    I have a frenemy. She copies everything I do, and always tries to one-up me. Too bad she doesn't succeed, because by the time she rips off my idea I'm already on to the next. She is always 3 steps behind me, and she can't catch up. Laughing out loud

    8 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • ilanac13's picture
    ilanac13
    35

    this is kind of a complicated one for me. i don't consider myself to be jealous of people, but there's this one girl that i worked with and she would always try to one-better me and she was always trying to compete with me. i didn't make sense but then i realized that she was making me into a rival - but that's her own stuff - i never did the same thing with her.

    7 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • hithatsmybike's picture
    hithatsmybike
    36

    I clicked no, but after reading some of these posts I can totally relate.

    My bf's ex was completely crazy when him & I started dating.. she kept asking him out and whatnot. It pissed me way the hell off, and because we had so many mutual friends (I even had a class with her sister! WTF!) there was no avoiding running into her at parties or hearing her name come up in conversation.

    We always pretended the other didn't exist -- even when we were literally an arm's length from one another.

    Now we have a class at the same time in rooms across from each other, so I see her sometimes (and how did THAT happen? There are 40 000 students at my school! We're not even in the same faculty!). We're still pretending the other doesn't exist.

    It's a very quiet rivalry lol

    7 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Kat E's picture
    Kat E
    37

    Oh god. My boyfriend has a friend who does and says things to constantly try to communicate that she believes she is more "important" to him than I am. It's not only ridiculous because he doesn't consider her to be a close friend, but she recently put me to tears when she tried to make me believe that he was saying nasty things behind my back and she supposedly stood up for me. Not only was it not true (which I knew), but she has actually tried to do this same thing to other couples we know too! It's really upsetting and sometimes I just want to hit her.

    4 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment

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